My Fallen Angel
by Elizabeth Kujawski
Summary: My name? Lilly. my life story? read and find out, nothings as happy as it seems
1. what happens before

_Preface_

_"Mom, don't!" I screamed seeing her nose drop so it looked like she was sniffing the yellowed dresser. Only, I knew better, she wasn't . . . She was doing drugs . . . again._

_She had been missing for 2 weeks this time, and yesterday we decided to finally go looking for her. Other than to see if she was dead yet, my brother and I didn't take much notice to her, it was the same way for her. As long as we stayed out of her way, she stayed out of our lives. If you ask me if I had a bad mother, I would've said I could've had worse. _

_She looked straight at me, staring into my eyes. Then I got the message, she's been gone this long because she wants to die, she's looking for a way to die. The drug she was snorting was most likely the strongest she could find. And knowing all of drugs, thanks to her, I knew that it was what she called seventh heaven. Either that or acid – but that is injected, isn't it?_

_My feet froze, as well as the rest of my body. I couldn't speak, couldn't yell out. This was her choice, she made the decision. She would just try again, and again. She always gets what she wants. Always._

_I looked away, I hated her, but that doesn't mean I could see my own mother kill herself. I nodded discreetly, knowing she would see and she wouldn't be saved. I would act as if I wasn't here in time. I would make one more lie for her. For me, to be able to live with myself._

_To be able to love myself, as well as other people._


	2. Moving

_Preface_

_"Mom, don't!" I screamed seeing her nose drop so it looked like she was sniffing the yellowed dresser. Only, I knew better, she wasn't . . . She was doing drugs . . . again._

_She had been missing for 2 weeks this time, and yesterday we decided to finally go looking for her. Other than to see if she was dead yet, my brother and I didn't take much notice to her, it was the same way for her. As long as we stayed out of her way, she stayed out of our lives. If you ask me if I had a bad mother, I would've said I could've had worse. _

_She looked straight at me, staring into my eyes. Then I got the message, she's been gone this long because she wants to die, she's looking for a way to die. The drug she was snorting was most likely the strongest she could find. And knowing all of drugs, thanks to her, I knew that it was what she called seventh heaven. Either that or acid – but that is injected, isn't it?_

_My feet froze, as well as the rest of my body. I couldn't speak, couldn't yell out. This was her choice, she made the decision. She would just try again, and again. She always gets what she wants. Always._

_I looked away, I hated her, but that doesn't mean I could see my own mother kill herself. I nodded discreetly, knowing she would see and she wouldn't be saved. I would act as if I wasn't here in time. I would make one more lie for her. For me, to be able to live with myself._

_To be able to love myself, as well as other people._


	3. New school, Same routine

_Chapter 2. New school, same routine._

_I am usually a very good judge for people. For instance, the girl next to me in the black, red lettered 'Bite me' t-shirt will first introduce herself, assume my name was Lillian – which legally, it was. Then, ramble about something totally unimportant._

_"Hello, my name's Kate." Real name? Katilyn. "I'm guessing you're Alex Maxwelski' sister, Lillian." Her voice was excited, like she's never seen a new person before._

_"Lilly." I corrected her happy-go-lucky-self. She glowered for two seconds, and then found something to smile about. Too cheerful, for me._

_"Lilly . . ." she said, testing the name on her lips. "That's such a pretty name; I wish my name were that pretty ..."_

_Like I said, it was completely unimportant._

_She rambled until the bell rang, which by then I had all my stuff pack and all I had to do was leave. I nodded to her -trying to be a little bit respectful, and left. When I got to my locker, I realized it was time for lunch. Shit! I hadn't made any friends, that I would want to sit next to, you know, people that I've met here don't really . . . click with me._

_I walked to the front of the school, 5th and 6th period books in hand, and, of course, my favorite book. Romeo is so stupid. Searching for a bench to sit on until lunch was over._

_I stepped out the bright red doors and my eyes caught the most piercing green I've ever seen._

_My eyes immediately went down, and I hoped he didn't see the deep red blush on my cheeks. Instead, I searched for the bench I had found earlier that morning. Again._

_I had been reading, on that bench. Pervert. _

_Then, I realized the owner of those piercing green eyes was sitting on it. Shit, again. _

_I didn't realize, until I heard a leaf crunch behind me, that someone had been following me. I immediately jumped, looking in the followers' way. Stupid thoughts, considering I'm in a school, everybody follows everybody else._

_My eyes found sky blue eyes, and, then, I recognized the rest of the guy from my first four classes. Stalker, I joked with myself._

_I can't remember his name. . . Allen, no . . . Jacob, no . . . Christopher? Maybe._

_"Wow, jumpy much?" He laughed. "Hey," he said calming down, "I'm Chris," Real name Christopher. I was right. I don't understand why they shortened that name. I personally liked that name. Not as much as Damon, though. . . "You're Lillian?" He said it like a question, but it held too much confidence to be a question. _

_You know? I hated people like him, people who think they're everything and a bag of chips._

_Time to knock down the male ego. My favorite pastime. Yay!_

_"Lilly." I corrected. I admit, I sounded annoyed, but I couldn't help it. Too many people had called me Lillian, and I was sick of it._

_His face fell briefly, and then rose. "I was wondering what your fifth period was because I want to know if your following me." I laughed, good naturedly, reminding me of my previous joke._

_Truthfully, he was a good-looking guy- eye candy, maybe. Dirty blond hair, broad shoulders that emphasized by the hair, dresses good- for winter. Nice ass. _

_Don't ask._

_Just . . . not my type. His name in my mind was . . . stupid jock. I made another funny, ha! I need to stop making everything a joke._

_"English and science, with Mr. Goliad and Mrs. Harper." I said seriously._

_"Damn we do have every class together." He laughed, again. "I got to go, Kate's waiting for me. She's my girlfriend," He said, proudly, well I'm glad . . . the prep got with the jock. "I'll see you in 5th period." He turned and walked in the school, with a wave behind him. Asshole didn't even wait for a bye from me._

_I swallowed, though I hating dealing with guys who hit on me. Even if they do have girlfriends._

_I felt a poke on my shoulder a couple minutes later, and looked around to notice Alex's smile, the set of his several-time-broken nose, and smiled. And laughed._

_"Hey, Alex what are you doing back in school?" We laughed, glad I could still make jokes. It makes both our lives happier ones._

_"I wanted to invite you to be in my play, well 'the play'" it was a direct quote from someone who most likely pissed him off, most likely saying that he didn't write the play, so it's not his.. "It's called The Fallen Angel."_

_He spent the rest of the lunch hour explaining that it was a community play about a girl – the part he wants me to play- who is down in the dumps, and she a stuck-up, 'total bitch' , who learns there is people who go through worse than she does, then she turns nice. And lands up fallen in love with the guy that is teaching her all this. Then, she's stupid enough to leave him for India, so she could help the homeless . . . _

_I told him, I'd think about it._

_And to tell the truth, I didn't think about it at all, well at least at first . . . I thought about those piercing green eyes, and wondering who the owner could be . . . all while Mr. Goliad was talking about verbs, and different types of verbs. I was thinking handsome, and the different types of handsome._

_It wasn't until Mrs., Harper who droning on about chemical reactions that I forced myself to think about the problem at hand._

_Do I really want to do this play? No. Did I owe my brother the benefit of the doubt? Yes. Could I survive being in a play? No. For my brother? I guess . . . maybe. Do I want to be bored at home? No way. so what else could I do? Soccer, and _debate team, and track, and national junior honor society. Was it the season for any of that? No. am I fucked? Yes. So was I going to do this anyway? Yes.

_Little did I know that this simple decision would alter the rest of my life, or would it be the rest of eternity?_

Maybe?


	4. Meeting the Crew

Chapter 3. Meeting the crew.

_As it turns out "Mr. Cool"-Christopher- and "Mrs. Vampire" -Katilyn- are part the play. They were the first two I noticed in the parking lot, and Considering their position, and what they were doing, that wasn't surprising. _

_I quickly turned my head away- blocking the moans from my head, and almost ran to the front doors. I'm not afraid of sex- if that's what your thinking- I just think sex should be private. _

_The next thing I noticed was how big the Place was. I'm sorry, I'm not good at explaining stuff, but I'm going to try. It looked like an auditorium, only 10 times bigger, and made of glass and steel. Do you get the picture? I hope so._

_I was about to open the huge doors, when I saw the owner of my -scratch that- the piercing green eyes._

"_Hello." His angelic voice said, and then he left. Either I was I little slow to respond –being distracted, yah know? - Or he was super-fast. I want to say he's fast. Just for my pride._

"_Hello . . ." I trialed on the word, and not in a sexy way, either. It was more of an 'I'm drooling over you' way, or maybe an 'I'm a drooling idiot,' way. I laughed at myself. I'm such a girl._

_Since he was gone with his angelic voice, I looked at the second set of doors –why are there two sets of doors? - spotting Alex._

_The first words out of my mouth was, "Man, this place is huge." He grinned..._

"_Bigger than your use it, Isn't it?" He said, considering the question. "Huh? I do sometimes think Sam's parents – Kira and Kyu- go overboard." What? I'm a little slow at the moment, seeing that the sound of his voice was ringing though my head._

"_Sam?" I asked, still not processing, what he said._

"_Sam's the lead male." He pointed toward the curtains. "He's backstage, getting the script. He'll be back in a moment."_

_Green eyes walk out onto the stage, and spotted me and Alex._

"_Is that your sister?" He yelled and pointed at me. Alex, being the asshole he is, pushed me towards the stage, and in the effect, I fell too many times for my liking, considering me getting pushed and his angelic voice, that wasn't surprising._

"You_ know, there are three fingers pointed back at you." I grumbled under my voice._

"_Yes, and – by coming here- she has gave you permission to do your worst." What? I don't remember THAT being part of the deal!_

He look me up and down- sizing me. "You like the theatre." He said questionably. He was most likely looking at my skinny jeans, running shoes, black t-shirt, and blue sweater.

"Not really, but . . ." I shrugged.

"Something to do? Something new?" His voice was polite, still angelic, and filled with confusion.

I looked at my brother, the back to Sam. His beautiful face: Piercing green eyes- that had a constant mysterious glint in them. Perfectly straight nose- unlike my brother. Dirty blonde hair, broad shoulders, and a casual stance. Unlike my brothers brown hair- like mine-, brown eyes – unlike my pale blue ones-, and lean body – like mine unfortunately. Sam was definitely my type, but he knew my brother. . .

That beautiful face was filled with understanding, yet little questions held him back from fully understanding, he obviously decided it didn't matter.

"Lilly, meet Sam Matthews" My brother introduced him. "You better treat him nicely; because even through he's a senior, he's my best friend." He looked at Sam, eyes narrowed. "Sam meet my sister Lillian – just call her Lilly, and you better be nice to her, or else. . ." my brother was trying to sound threatening!

If my hearing my correct, my brother just growled. Ok, umm, awkward! "Well, Lilly," He accented my name. "Do you want the lead?" He laughed, the taunted, "you get to kiss me!" I could tell he was joking but that didn't stop the anger from rising in me, to the point where his perfectness disappeared from my mind. Replaced by the anger of him being so arrogant. My fists clenched.

YOU ARROGENT ASSHOLE!" I almost jumped on the stage and punched him, if it weren't for Alex holding me back.

"She's not that part because you're lead male." Alex was growling, it seemed, again.

Sam clicked his tongue. "It seems you're forgetting something. I'm only lead male for rehearsals, and the first night," He laughed. "My parents wedding. Then it's Matt."

"I'm leaving . . ."I shot a point stare at Sam before I turned and headed for the double doors.

"No, Please. Here, these are the lines for the lead female. Her name is Annabel." Sam now looked pleading; I saw when I turned around at please. "Please don't leave, I was joking."

I felt the anger leave my body, "Besides you didn't get to meet the crew." He added, trying, obviously to get me to stay.

"The crew?" I asked, interested.

"Katilyn, Chris, Matt, Becca, Damon, Nate, Cal, Alec, Alice." He sighed. "The crew, other than us." He nodded his head.

"Three girls and six guys?"

"Yep," I heard from behind me. I turned to recognize the guy who was sitting with Sam, on the bench, earlier that day.

"I'm Matt; it's a pleasure to meet you Lilly."

"Hello . . ."I said, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

"Hello, I'm Becca. You're Lilly?" said the small skinny chick next to him. On her other side was a big dude, but not fat big, he is muscular big. I nodded towards her. Still very uncomfortable.

"I'm Damon." The dude said. The next dude looked just as big as muscle man, just civilized, looked ready to utter his name,

"Nate, Damon's' twin" TWINS! That explains it!

"Name is Callahan, just call me Cal." A gruff voice said from backstage, but then he walked out. HE LOOKED ALMOST EXCALTLY LIKE NATE AND DAMON!

"Alexander, but call me Alec" My God, He was a bigger, male version of Becca.

"Alice." A girl said coming out of the bathroom, she gave Sam a dirty look.

They were now in a line, sizing me while I sized them.

Their t-shirts and jeans were the same on all of them. The white t-shirt said, 'believe us, the supernatural is fun,' and on the back it had their nicknames listed- in black ink. I wonder Nate's real name is? Becca was predictable, Rebecca.

Matt was cute with his brown eyes, blonde hair, and lean body.

Becca was small in every way: except height – that was average. She had the same blue eyes, and brown hair that Cal, and Alec had.

Nate, Damon, and Alice were assessing me deeply, as if they were looking for something. So, their features were focused, sharing the same look, having dirty blonde hair and green eyes.

Like SAM.

Dirty blonde, untamed hair, green mysterious eyes, boyish smile, and broad shoulders. I swear I was drooling again.

I checked: no. No drool. Good.

I caught myself staring at him. SHIT!

He was looking at me too . . . he caught me staring.

"Now it's time for the tests," Sam stated


	5. The Three Tests

Chapter 5: The Three Tests.

"Okay, this play is half a musical, there's one song with both of us singing, so the first test is the assessment of your acting skills." Sam went through the packet thing . . . playwright –Yeah that's it!-, and I had a feeling he was already acting." Ahh, this will be a good one."

When he looked at me his eyes were full of mischief, "Act 7, scene 2."

I quickly looked, and memorized the lines, thanking god for my photographic memory. "The kissing scene," I teased, walking close to him, "If you want to kiss me, all you have to do is ask." I leaned in,

And kissed his cheek. I heard the intake of his breath, as he gasped. Then, as if nothing happened, he started the play. Good, I'll save that for later.

"Annabel, please don't leave." He got to his knees and I fell to mine.

"My fallen angel, that's what I used to call you. You were my protector, yet you had flaws. I understood. I love you, yet I don't know your name."

"My name has no matter. Tell me you'll stay!" he took me into his arms, still kneeling, and his lips against my hair.

"I can't, you know this, you taught me good, and I need to prove I can make a difference."

"You are! By loving me." He kissed my forehead, "As I love you."

"My angel, give me your name so I might find you when I come back." Annabel pleaded.

"Anything you want it to be, because you will not be leaving!" his voice changed from soft to fierce. He got up leaving me on the floor, looking at him.

The last part he was willing to do of the scene, I read from his perfect piercing green eyes. Because of the kissing . . . and sexual acts.

I heard a chorus of claps, a couple whistles, and one 'perfect' rang out. I didn't know who did what.

He bowed, arrogantly. I, personally, smiled at them. I'm good for never doing this before, I thought.

"We all say you pass that one, now for the evaluation of your singing talents."

What! I don't sing, 'hey excuse me, I'd like a part I don't have to sing in.' rang through my head, but I kept quiet.

"Do you have any favorite songs that a girl sings?"

"Breakaway? By Kelly Clarkson?" Okay. It wasn't a favorite, but it was the first thing that popped into my head. Sam nodded his head, and looked at Alex.

"I'm the music worker." Alex explained, and went into a box looking thing, and the music started playing.

I started doing the da-da-dada-da-da, things and Sam gave me a microphone. Even shittier.

". . . Grew up in a small town  
>And when the rain would fall down<br>I'd just stare out my window  
>Dreaming of what could be<br>And if I'd end up happy  
>I would pray<p>

Trying hard to reach out  
>But when I tried to speak out<br>Felt like no one could hear me  
>Wanted to belong here<br>But something felt so wrong here  
>So I'd pray<br>I could break away. . ."

After a while, I realized I had closed my eyes, so I opened them and saw their shocked faces . . . all except Sam's: his face was full of amusement.

God, I was really starting to dislike him.

With his urrg moments.

"'ll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.  
>I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.<br>Make a wish, take a chance,  
>Make a change, and break away.<br>Out of the darkness and into the sun.  
>But I won't forget all the ones that I love.<br>I'll take a risk, take a chance,  
>Make a change, and break away<p>

Wanna feel the warm breeze  
>Sleep under a palm tree<br>Feel the rush of the ocean  
>Get onboard a fast train<br>Travel on a jet plane  
>Far away<br>and break away. . ."

The sudden look of yearning fell on his face, those green eyes got darker, and I swear I fell in love with his eyes.

"…'ll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.  
>I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.<br>Make a wish, take a chance,  
>Make a change, and break away.<br>Out of the darkness and into the sun.  
>But I won't forget all the ones that I love.<br>I'll take a risk, take a chance,  
>Make a change, and break away<p>

Buildings with a hundred floors  
>Swinging with revolving doors<br>Maybe I don't know where they'll take me  
>Gotta keep movin on movin on<br>Fly away  
>Break away…"<p>

After the song was over, all I saw was the proud look on Sam's face. I still heard everyone else; I just didn't give any notice. . .

Not even two days, this was something I had to fight.

This was dangerous, this was hazardous, and it was going to destroy me. I was going to be dust in the soles of his shoes after he stomped on my heart.

"The third test?" I prompted.

"Oh, yes, the test of compatibility . . ." Sam's smile was almost evil. "I find the song by linkin park and evanescence 'wake me up inside' the hardest to get compatible with."

Oh . . . okay . . .

The music started, Alex is awesome.

More sarcasm. Music paused.

"Do you know the song?"

"Yeah," as a matter of fact I used to sing it alone at home.

The music started again.

I started singing it, without even thinking about it ". . .

X X X X X

Alex's sister is amazing. Not just her singing, but everything. The way she talked, how she got mad in an instance . . .

Becca walked –subtitly- next to me, "I feel your emotions, and she's your mate."

I nodded, unable to do anything else, to my emotion reading great grandmother.

"She'll fight you, at first." I heard Alec tell me. My mom's uncle? Well he can see the future, the definite future.

"I know."

Nate chuckled, "She fell in love with your eyes." Mind-reader

I chuckled, just a bit.

"You have completion with your eyes." He laughed." She hates you, and loves your eyes. How in the world does that work?"

I shrugged, I didn't know. All I knew was that I was intrigued by her. She finished singing Kelly Clarkson, and she stared at me, while the others clapped and cheered.

"Loving one of us is dangerous." Nate told me low and fast enough for her not to hear, and smiled at her, knowing she was only looking at me.

"The third test" she prompted.

"Oh, yes, the test of compatibility . . ." I smiled, thinking: like she needs this test, she and I were two pieces in a puzzle that fit together perfectly. I pulled a song from my difficult songs hat in my head. Yes, I have a hat IN my head, figuratively. "I find the song by linkin park and evanescence 'wake me up inside' the hardest to get compatible with."

I subtitly nodded to Alex, and he started the music. I nodded, again, for him to pause it. I had to make sure she knew the song.

"Do you know the song?"

"Yeah. . ."

"She does, the image of her singing along to it in her 'poncho' and booty shorts is hilarious." He laughed –Lilly couldn't hear the low, fast words coming through his mouth.

I nodded, for Alex to start the music again . . .

". . . How can you see into my eyes?

Like open doors

Leading you down into my core

Where I've become so numb

Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold

Until you find it there and lead it back home. . ."

Her voice was angelic; I could see the awe struck faces of my family.

And it felt totally natural to start singing . . .

"Wake me up." Came from me.

And eventually the end, "Bring me to life," she finished the song.

Claps came from all around us – no matter how many times she'll sing we'll still be in awe.

"Tests are passed." my family and I agreed, at the same time. Weirdly.

"Time to go home." Alex came out of what I will now call the music box, looking at his watch.

I looked through all of the glass, and saw how dark it got. Damn!

Well, she did come here around six p.m.

"Yeah, sleepy time," Lilly agreed, kind of in a childish way. It made her look cute.

As she left I felt empty. Knowing that with every second, she was getting farther and farther away.

"Go, Sam." Nate, Becca and Alec said simultaneously, after I was done doing my 'chores.'


	6. The Stalker and the Runaway

Chapter 5: The Three Tests.

"Okay, this play is half a musical, there's one song with both of us singing, so the first test is the assessment of your acting skills." Sam went through the packet thing . . . playwright –Yeah that's it!-, and I had a feeling he was already acting." Ahh, this will be a good one."

When he looked at me his eyes were full of mischief, "Act 7, scene 2."

I quickly looked, and memorized the lines, thanking god for my photographic memory. "The kissing scene," I teased, walking close to him, "If you want to kiss me, all you have to do is ask." I leaned in,

And kissed his cheek. I heard the intake of his breath, as he gasped. Then, as if nothing happened, he started the play. Good, I'll save that for later.

"Annabel, please don't leave." He got to his knees and I fell to mine.

"My fallen angel, that's what I used to call you. You were my protector, yet you had flaws. I understood. I love you, yet I don't know your name."

"My name has no matter. Tell me you'll stay!" he took me into his arms, still kneeling, and his lips against my hair.

"I can't, you know this, you taught me good, and I need to prove I can make a difference."

"You are! By loving me." He kissed my forehead, "As I love you."

"My angel, give me your name so I might find you when I come back." Annabel pleaded.

"Anything you want it to be, because you will not be leaving!" his voice changed from soft to fierce. He got up leaving me on the floor, looking at him.

The last part he was willing to do of the scene, I read from his perfect piercing green eyes. Because of the kissing . . . and sexual acts.

I heard a chorus of claps, a couple whistles, and one 'perfect' rang out. I didn't know who did what.

He bowed, arrogantly. I, personally, smiled at them. I'm good for never doing this before, I thought.

"We all say you pass that one, now for the evaluation of your singing talents."

What! I don't sing, 'hey excuse me, I'd like a part I don't have to sing in.' rang through my head, but I kept quiet.

"Do you have any favorite songs that a girl sings?"

"Breakaway? By Kelly Clarkson?" Okay. It wasn't a favorite, but it was the first thing that popped into my head. Sam nodded his head, and looked at Alex.

"I'm the music worker." Alex explained, and went into a box looking thing, and the music started playing.

I started doing the da-da-dada-da-da, things and Sam gave me a microphone. Even shittier.

". . . Grew up in a small town  
>And when the rain would fall down<br>I'd just stare out my window  
>Dreaming of what could be<br>And if I'd end up happy  
>I would pray<p>

Trying hard to reach out  
>But when I tried to speak out<br>Felt like no one could hear me  
>Wanted to belong here<br>But something felt so wrong here  
>So I'd pray<br>I could break away. . ."

After a while, I realized I had closed my eyes, so I opened them and saw their shocked faces . . . all except Sam's: his face was full of amusement.

God, I was really starting to dislike him.

With his urrg moments.

"'ll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.  
>I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.<br>Make a wish, take a chance,  
>Make a change, and break away.<br>Out of the darkness and into the sun.  
>But I won't forget all the ones that I love.<br>I'll take a risk, take a chance,  
>Make a change, and break away<p>

Wanna feel the warm breeze  
>Sleep under a palm tree<br>Feel the rush of the ocean  
>Get onboard a fast train<br>Travel on a jet plane  
>Far away<br>and break away. . ."

The sudden look of yearning fell on his face, those green eyes got darker, and I swear I fell in love with his eyes.

"…'ll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.  
>I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.<br>Make a wish, take a chance,  
>Make a change, and break away.<br>Out of the darkness and into the sun.  
>But I won't forget all the ones that I love.<br>I'll take a risk, take a chance,  
>Make a change, and break away<p>

Buildings with a hundred floors  
>Swinging with revolving doors<br>Maybe I don't know where they'll take me  
>Gotta keep movin on movin on<br>Fly away  
>Break away…"<p>

After the song was over, all I saw was the proud look on Sam's face. I still heard everyone else; I just didn't give any notice. . .

Not even two days, this was something I had to fight.

This was dangerous, this was hazardous, and it was going to destroy me. I was going to be dust in the soles of his shoes after he stomped on my heart.

"The third test?" I prompted.

"Oh, yes, the test of compatibility . . ." Sam's smile was almost evil. "I find the song by linkin park and evanescence 'wake me up inside' the hardest to get compatible with."

Oh . . . okay . . .

The music started, Alex is awesome.

More sarcasm. Music paused.

"Do you know the song?"

"Yeah," as a matter of fact I used to sing it alone at home.

The music started again.

I started singing it, without even thinking about it ". . .

X X X X X

Alex's sister is amazing. Not just her singing, but everything. The way she talked, how she got mad in an instance . . .

Becca walked –subtitly- next to me, "I feel your emotions, and she's your mate."

I nodded, unable to do anything else, to my emotion reading great grandmother.

"She'll fight you, at first." I heard Alec tell me. My mom's uncle? Well he can see the future, the definite future.

"I know."

Nate chuckled, "She fell in love with your eyes." Mind-reader

I chuckled, just a bit.

"You have completion with your eyes." He laughed." She hates you, and loves your eyes. How in the world does that work?"

I shrugged, I didn't know. All I knew was that I was intrigued by her. She finished singing Kelly Clarkson, and she stared at me, while the others clapped and cheered.

"Loving one of us is dangerous." Nate told me low and fast enough for her not to hear, and smiled at her, knowing she was only looking at me.

"The third test" she prompted.

"Oh, yes, the test of compatibility . . ." I smiled, thinking: like she needs this test, she and I were two pieces in a puzzle that fit together perfectly. I pulled a song from my difficult songs hat in my head. Yes, I have a hat IN my head, figuratively. "I find the song by linkin park and evanescence 'wake me up inside' the hardest to get compatible with."

I subtitly nodded to Alex, and he started the music. I nodded, again, for him to pause it. I had to make sure she knew the song.

"Do you know the song?"

"Yeah. . ."

"She does, the image of her singing along to it in her 'poncho' and booty shorts is hilarious." He laughed –Lilly couldn't hear the low, fast words coming through his mouth.

I nodded, for Alex to start the music again . . .

". . . How can you see into my eyes?

Like open doors

Leading you down into my core

Where I've become so numb

Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold

Until you find it there and lead it back home. . ."

Her voice was angelic; I could see the awe struck faces of my family.

And it felt totally natural to start singing . . .

"Wake me up." Came from me.

And eventually the end, "Bring me to life," she finished the song.

Claps came from all around us – no matter how many times she'll sing we'll still be in awe.

"Tests are passed." my family and I agreed, at the same time. Weirdly.

"Time to go home." Alex came out of what I will now call the music box, looking at his watch.

I looked through all of the glass, and saw how dark it got. Damn!

Well, she did come here around six p.m.

"Yeah, sleepy time," Lilly agreed, kind of in a childish way. It made her look cute.

As she left I felt empty. Knowing that with every second, she was getting farther and farther away.

"Go, Sam." Nate, Becca and Alec said simultaneously, after I was done doing my 'chores.'

Chapter 6. The stalker and the runaway.

"Later." I said, in habit. After I was done doing what I needed to do. Then ran, following the scent of her and the car. Don't ask.

I soon caught up to her, and Alex was running in the woods. I followed him.

"She's your mate?" he asked, I nodded. "I don't know where she's going. I parked my car and now . . ." He trailed off, pulled out his phone, dialed a number, and . . . "Please, pick up, Lillian." He waited, then "Fuck!" Slipped from his mouth.

"What?" I wasn't confused; it was just a human reaction. I heard the voicemail. Her beautiful voice.

He seemed to understand, "dial (586)443-0918, it's her number."

"Okay," I pulled out my awesome smartphone, and dialed.

She answered, "Hi?"

"I knew this would work!" I cheered.

She hung up, damn. We continued running, following her amazing ford fusion.

Alex, who didn't naturally enjoy the chase, finally, took my phone, dialed her number, and pressed send.

Then, and only then, I realized she was pulling over. Damn! I was enjoying the chase. But then . . . again, that was a good thing.

"Hello, Sam." I heard her speak coolly.

"Hello, Lillian." Alex was repressing anger, the most dangerous emotion for his kind.

No, none of us are human.

"Alex, where's Sam?" SHE WORRIED ABOUT ME!

"Next to me. More importantly, WHERE ARE YOU?" Alex's tone towards her was starting to irritate me, badly. But it was his protective instinct.

"Umm," she sounded reluctant to answer, "I, honestly, don't know . . ."

"Can you come back the way you went?"

"I think?" she questioned the perfect memory the demon in her gave to her.

"Come back to the theater, you're going home with me!" HE YELLED AT HER!

"What about my car?"

"Sam will drive it." MY instincts were threatening to kill him.

"Alright." She surrendered, unwillingly.

She turned her 2010 ford fusion around and headed back, then hung up.

Sighs of relief escaped us. Thank god.

"So, why didn't you tell me you had a little sister?" I questioned Alex.

"I feared that one of you were her mate." he gave me the coldest look I've ever gotten, "She doesn't need to be . . . disturbed by you."

"DISTURBED? ALL I WANT TO DO IS LOVE HER!" The next words out of his mouth saved his throat. For about two seconds.

"I know, but that's how she would interpret that kind of stuff."

"Are you saying I should settle for friends?"

"No, build your way up. Never let a possible human moment go by without saying hello to her, let her realize she can trust you. Right now, it's not a good time."

"Your Mom died." I said, having a feeling I was on the mark, but still wrong.

"Yeah."

And we ran.

X X X X X

Time goes by . . . for the young, old, sick, hungry, the depressed, the angry. Hell that is probably what makes us that way.

Mostly time goes by . . . for me.

-But I think that's because I live in this body-

And every second that passes hurt, like a pinprick to the soul that keeps getting stronger.

I was bored. The first thing I thought about was seeing Sam, but we were NOT friends, so that would be weird, and . . . I didn't know what we were.

More guilt. Alex. I was placed upon his shoulders-of-responsibility, and he didn't even know where I was.

Hell, I didn't even know I was. I could be in china, but I didn't cross any oceans so that would definitely be wrong.

Many of us – the voices in my head- are asking how I managed to do that; I just kept driving, not looking at anything, not caring.

Back to questioning where I am.

Maybe Hollywood?

I laughed at that. Hollywood? Really? I only took a 3-5 hour drive.

Then . . . my phone rang . . . Wait for it . . . wait . . . wait . . . for the seventh time that day.

I checked the collar I.D. As always.

Just a number? I, being stupid, answered the phone. Probably because I didn't recognize the number.

"Hi?" I breathed out, steadily.

"I knew this would work!" That was Sam's angelic voice – wait! Angelic?-

He had my number!

I, being extra stupid, hung up. I didn't like to talk to people over the phone.

Of course, Alex's went back to the theater after me not going home. It was the only logical thing.

But . . .

Why couldn't he have asked someone else?

At least they knew I was alive, I shrugged.

I sped up, now doing 80mi/hr. down the freeway, compared to my 70 mi/hr. I was doing.

Speed demon.

Yep, that's me. I chuckled silently.

I love speed, and I'm a constant sinner.

What else could a girl want? I joked, but of course, I had to answer myself . . .

I knew the answer to that, to be able to like someone without considering if I'd have to lie for them.

Sam, I had a feeling, I'd be lying a lot for, and I wasn't doing that. Not again, not for him, not for anyone. Never again.

Mom started the lies at 5 years old.

I was five, and desperately wanted my mother's love. That I never managed to get.

I had thought that if we had something to share, wed get closer, and I could earn her love.

But, after that it got worse, she left me more often; I had maybe three hours of her attention a month.

Abandonment issues, great things!

I just love the beauty of sarcasm, don't you?

I thought not.

I, finally, pulled over the car.

I laughed at myself, I'm such an idiot.

Another call, I recognized the number as Sam's.

I have no clue what I was thinking, but . . . I picked it up, and with an air of calmness, I didn't feel. I spoke into the phone.

"Hello, Sam." Slipped form my mouth, in a voice I didn't recognize.

"Hello, Lillian." Alex! He sounded really mad. Wait . . .

"Alex? Where's Sam?" I worried . . .

"Next to me." he spoke the words as if unimportant. "More importantly, WHERE ARE YOU?"

"Umm, I, honestly, don't know. . ." I stated, sadly.

"Can you come back the way you went?" he inquired with his tone that inside he was thinking, 'God, you're stupid.'

"I think?" Maybe? Probably?

"Come back to the theater, you're going home with me!" he shouted.

"What about my car?" my beautiful black car.

"Sam will drive it." He sounded as if he was trying to calm down.

"Alright" I surrendered, started my car, and turned the hell around.

Then hung up.

To the theater, I go . . .

X X X X X

We made sure to be at the theater before her, and look like we were doing something.

I, personally, looked like I was getting a long drink of water, when she walked in.

Alex was pretending to rehearse his lines, he has two! I chuckled inside.

I turned, looked at her angelic, devilish face, and then turned towards Alex, who was pretending not to notice her.

"Alex; your sister!" I called out. He turned his head and stared daggers at her.

My instincts went on over drive, "hurt her and I'll kill you." I growled so low that, even with her hearing, that wasn't fully developed, only Alex could hear.

He glared at me, then her. My instincts were on over drive.

"In the car, now!" in my head all I heard was, 'Kill him now. He's a threat to your mate!'

She through her keys at me, without looking. I caught them with my cat like reflexes.

I chuckled at my joke, trying to calm down as I walked to her car.

As we rode I was literally up their ass, riding them with her car. Even though I could be miles away and still hear them perfectly well – if I wanted to.

"Don't worry me like that again." Alex.

"I told you, before we got here, just forget about me." Lilly.

"That doesn't mean I will! . . . You should know me better." His voice was compassionate towards my sweet Lilly . . .

"Why not! That's what mom did! I can't imagine it to be much harder for you." She shouted at him, passionately, if I do say so myself.

"Our mom was and neglectful druggie, I thought you knew that!" it sounded as if Alex has lost his patience.

Silence.

"I'm sorry I should have thought I know you loved her." Alex quickly apologized.

"She was my mom . . ." Lillian sobbed.

"I know . . ." Alex tried to sound comforting.

"I hate her." She spoke with determination.

"No, you don't" Alex spoke softly. And with conviction.

Their mom? Question popped into my head as I drove, knowing that I'll never get to ask them.

I wasn't supposed to be listening . . .

I guess you've realized we're definitely not human.


	7. explaination to the public

Chapter 7: Explanation to the public

A.N. This chapter is basically an explanation to you people about what going on, and I hope you will keep in mind after this that Lillian doesn't know any of this. That's why I'm telling this in Sam's point of view.

I'm not human. I'm a vampire, and a Leo. I'm part human, too. The vampire over rides it.

A Leo is a shape shifter that only turns into a lion.

I just hope that my Leo heritage won't get the best of me.

Never mind . . . story for later today.

My mom is actually my mom, and so is my dad. Kyra and Kyu sound weird in my head. Their real names.

My real name is Sam Suzuki, not Matthews.

My grandparents: Callahan, and Alice. Then my great grandparents: Becca and Marcus.

Here goes my family tree in written form . . .

Marcus found Becca, they got together, Becca is mostly vampire, and part Leo, Marcus is Leo. They had Cal and Alec, and one of them were supposed to take over the world. Callahan did. Cal, and Alec are half vampire, half Leo. Callahan hated humans until he met Alice: who is human: and gave up the world, separating it the way it is today. They had Damon and Nathaniel, then later Annie was stolen from them and raped by her ' stepdad' getting knocked up.

My god, their lives were exciting.

When she went to get a checkup for the baby she met Kyu –by now her name is Kyra- and they realized she was stolen from her parents, they found her real parents, lost the baby, settled down, and had me.

So back to the topic of Leos. They're really unpredictable, and completely guided by their instincts, especially when it comes to their mates.

Mates are basically soul mates, I guess, like mates are like two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly, in every way. Fate gave us mates because unless we supernaturals find are mates we can't breed. At all.

Well back to Leos, they can't control themselves, and nine out of ten they end up , at least hurting their mate, let alone killing them.

And I have part of that in me. . .

A.N. I'm sorry this is so short, but I promise it's only because this is an explanation.

I hope you enjoyed reading this little explanation

Thank you for reading.

Elizabeth Kujawski


	8. Getting to know more about Sam and Lilly

Chapter 7: Getting to know more about Sam and Lilly

A.N. in Sam's POV

I walked up to Alex and Lillian's house, thinking of words that would help my chances with her. I'm odd like that. I think before I talk.

I knocked on the door, and when Alex opened the door only far enough to stick his hand through the door, to get the keys that I willingly gave to him, I knew something was wrong.

My next words were, unfortunately, not thought out, "What's wrong? Is it Lillian?"

I heard a sob come from, what could only be, her.

"Alex . . ." he sighed, looking at me seriously, he told me to, "Get the hell out of here, Sam."

He opened the door a bit wider, to get out of the house, but it wasn't fast enough. I still saw her laying on the couch, crying.

Seeing her like this, hearing her sobs, was killing me.

"Go away, Sam, you're not helping her any." Alex was really pissing me off.

"Let me try, please . . . I can't just go away knowing she's like this."

"I hate mates." Alex stated

"Wait until you find yours, demon." Then, I remembered the demons way of mating, and shivered. I can't believe a demon can take that sort of damage. At least I can be certain that Lillian can take my bite, I shrugged.

"I can't wait." He said sarcastically

"Please, let me try." I repeated.

He opened the door, "Help yourself, Sam. Just remember . . . she's delicate."

"I know." I said, as I entered the house, he shut the door, again, and maybe two seconds later, I heard his car roar to life.

As I heard to car leave, I looked at my future, laying on the brown couch, and when I finally couldn't stand to look any more, I whispered,

"Lilly, please" the small voice I used seemed to take her out of her trance.

Her eyes opened, widened, and then her was sprinting towards, what I assumed to be, her room.

I did the obvious thing and ran after her.

"Lilly," I said as her door slammed into my face. "Can I come in?"

"NO!"

"Please, Lilly?" I said in a sad tone.

"The door doesn't lock." I took it as an invitation, and opened the door.

I looked at the emptiness of the room, holding only a dresser, and a bed. A futon.

I kneeled next to her futon, "What's wrong, Lilly?" I pleaded with my eyes.

See, to humans , this might seem a little early to them, but my body, mind, and heart had already recognized her as my mate, and had accepted her into every part of myself.

"Nothing." My anger raised, I had never hated a lie as much as I hated that one, in her mouth.

I crawled on her bed, and shifted her so I could hold her comfortably in my arms.

"Please . . . tell me?" instead she invaded,

"What's your full name?" I went with it, petting her hair: trying to comfort her, without knowing know.

"Sam Igles Matthews." Lie.

"Igles?" my mom's rapist.

"Mom's into weird names." I hated lying to her, it was so wrong!

She chuckled . . . and I fell more in love with her.

Wait, love?

Yes, love.

Holy shit.

Her face was so beautiful.

"Do you have any brothers, or sisters?"

Oh, by the way Igles means devil, lethal devil. Dangerous one. . .

"No," I accidently said curtly. She winced.

Mom hadn't wanted another, and neither did dad . . .

One devil was enough.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that, like that." I squeezed her – just a bit. Mindful she wasn't yet completely demon, and even then she was part Leo.

"I get it. You don't want brothers or sisters." I wish that were it. She sighed and continued with the questions. "Your favorite color?"

Her eye color, "Pale blue." Then, I asked her the same, "How 'bout you?"

"Green." And she blushed. I let it go, I didn't want to embarrass her yet.

"What's YOUR first name?"

"Lillian Marie Maxwelchski," Nothing else.

"Is Alex your only brother?"

"Yes," . . . waiting

"Any sisters?"

"No." . . .

"Will you tell me what's wrong?"

"No."

"Never?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?'

"Next month."

"Will you join me for diner, this evening?"

. . . "Are you asking me on a date?"

"Not if you don't want it to be." She stiffened, I think she wanted a 'HELL, NO!'

But I couldn't say no to her, my mate. "And if you're not ready."

"I'm a little confused, can . . . can we wait?"

I – bring the asshole, I was born to be- pushed her. "Why? There's nothing wrong with two people going on a date."

"Because!" She hopped up. "I've never felt like this before, okay? I've never felt safe, I've never felt chariest, needed, is that alright with you?" she paced, and I gave her five minutes, before I went behind her and wrapped my arms around her.

I leaned my head on her shoulder, "Okay," I murmured. "I'll wait. As long as you know, I'm here for you, Okay?"

I loved her . . .

"Okay." She said and nestled into my cheek.

"Do you want some dinner?"

"Didn't we just have this conversation?"

"Just for the sack of getting food. I'm hungry."

"I guess . . . " she said and lifted her head, "can I get my shoes?"

"Sure," I lifted my head, and she ran to get her shoes. "Should I drive?" I called out

"If you want to."

I realized that I gave the keys to Alex, and started searching for the keys, while she got ready.

I found them on the hood of her car. Very stupid of Alex.

She walked out of the house looking like an angel, with her brown coat, and blue jeans. But then again, she always looks like an angel, doesn't she?

"Okay! Let's go!"

"Where?"

"Good question, where do you want to go?"

"McDonalds?"

"Sure!"

Closest McDonalds: 20 miles, literally.

Does anyone know what to do now?

A.N. I hope you enjoyed reading.

Thank you for reading.

-Elizabeth Kujawski


	9. McDonalds

Chapter 8: McDonalds' and happy endings

A.N. In Lilly's POV.

I was used to people not understanding how I felt, but for some reason the fact that Sam didn't understand hurt, hurt bad. He doesn't understand that when he took me into his arms, he erased my old problems – temporally- and gave me new ones. He doesn't understand that this is scary for me, I've never had a romantic relationship with anyone, and before him, I wasn't even thinking about it.

He didn't understand that I didn't want this, not yet.

We're in the car driving to McDonalds and the silence is killing me. I frantically searched my mind for something to say. . .

"Are we eating inside?" slipped from my mouth, and afterward I silently cursed myself. What kind of question was that!

"Good question," He apparently disagreed. "Do you want to?" He looked at me with silent questions in his eyes. If only I knew what they were . . .

"Umm," I thought for a moment. "Sure, why not?"

Silence. . .

"So how old are you?" He asked, and then took a guess. "Seventeen?"

I laughed, "Heck, no." I tried to catch my breath before I answered with a serious frown. "Fifteen."

"Oh, SHIT!" he swore really loud, "I'm going to jail!"

"For what?" I asked, confused.

"For hitting on a fifteen year old, with sexual interest!" I laughed, he looked at me blankly.

"Relax, we haven't done anything! You won't go to jail! Everything's okay!" that dramatic display made me curious. "How old are you?"

"Eighteen." Damn!

Curious silence.

"So . . . you only were chasing after me for sex?"

"No!" But the answer was too quick to trust, well at least for me. "I'll wait, okay? I'll wait until you tell me to stop, until you tell me you don't want me."

"That's never going to happen." Escaped from the mouth, oh crap! I covered my mouth.

But he only said, "Then I'll wait forever to be with you."

"I think we should go back to questions?" he nodded, in agreement.

"If that's what you want, little one."

"Little one?" I questioned his sanity.

"You are littler than me."

"Only by three years!" I whined

"Three years is a long time." He inquired.

"Maybe for you!"

"And you." Huh? "What's your favorite sport?"

I appreciated the diversion, "Soccer, and you?"

He smiled, "Soccer, are you going to try out?"

"Always do. Are you going to?" Yes, I admit I was just throwing his question back at him, but they were good questions.

"I'm on the team, six years straight. I also am on the track team," he bragged.

"Oh yeah? I'm on –was on- the soccer team, debate team, track, and national junior honor society. Beat that!" I bragged, on top, for the moment.

"Easily, I can kiss." As if the topped anything I could say, his grin screamed 'ha!'

"And what makes you think I can't?" I said, as he turned into the McDonalds parking lot.

"You probably can, but not as good as me, I have experience." He bragged some more.

Not as much as me. I'm not a virgin for nothing. And no, it wasn't a happy experience. "I bet I'm better."

"No way!" he said, as he exited the vehicle, and I soon followed after. As we stood in line it was silent between us, but the restaurant was hustling about: screaming children, the works . . .

"What do you want to eat?" he had to shout over all the noise.

"Just a medium fry and a drink." I shouted, trying to hear myself over the noise. He nodded, probably preferring to save his voice.

This gave me time to think, as I walked toward one of the quieter seats in the place.

Who was Sam? Why did Sam care if something was bothering me? Why was Sam buying me dinner? Why did he care? Why did he do all this? What was he saying in doing so? When did he get the idea to care? Where was he all my life? How could this happen now?

All these question, with no answers. That's what bothered me, there were no answers.

No Answers!

Sam slid in the booth that I had picked and nodded his approval.

"Nice seat picking."

I nodded, "thanks."

Silence, the nice kind of it. Sam passed my fries and drink to me, and from the looks of it he somehow knew that I liked lemonade.

Then I looked at what he ordered and blanched, he eats all that and still looks as good as he does?

For those who are wondering 'what's on his plate?' he has three McDoubles, three McChickens, a large fry, and a large drink.

"What?" he has the balls to ask?

"That's a lot of food!" My voice was filled with awe.

"Well, I'm a sports person, it kind of goes into training and quickly gets worked off, you know?" and he took a large bite of McChicken.

Holy shit, he damn near ate half of it!

"Are you going to stare at me, or eat?"

"Oh crap, I'm being rude. I'm sorry." I blabbered on. . .

"Just eat, Lilly." I nodded, and stuck a few fries in my mouth. "Are you okay with us not talking while I eat?" he asked politely. I swallowed.

Cursing myself, I said, "Yeah, that's how I grew up."

"Me, too."

And there was a comfortable silence as we ate, and, oddly, he done before me.

He smiled, watching me eat the last of my fries, and then said, "You eat like a bird." Like it most the most natural thing in the world.

I choked, and stuttered on my words, "Well, y-you e-eat like a l-lion."

I cleared my throat with a drink from my lemonade, and he smiled so oddly: with all of his teeth showing. Weird.

"Are you ready to go?" he said, trying to be polite about it.

"Yes." I said, sloshing my drink.

"Good" He was looking over my shoulder at something, but when I turned to look, all he said was, "Don't."

But I did, anyway, either he was looking at the seemly creepy dude, or the hot blonde chick, probably the chick.

"I'm glad I didn't make this a date." I stated, turning back towards him, and yes, he looked pissed, for what I don't know. "I wouldn't appreciate you staring at other girls though. I know that for sure."

"Who's looking at girls?" he asked, still looking at the chick.

"You?"

"Last time I checked he was a dude, not that I did a thorough investigation."

"So it's the creepy dude?" he laughed and nodded.

"Yeah."

"Okay, let's go before you lose interest in girls."

"Never gonna happen" he stated, but got up anyway, and lead the way to the car.

It had started raining, and as we ran through it, I imagined kissing him in the rain.

Forbidden thoughts!

I opened the door, just in time to hear the engine purr with life.

I leaned my head on the seat, and . . .

X X X X X X

Sam's POV

I heard her soft snore, and turned just to find out Lillian was sleeping . . .

She was so beautiful, not just with the physical stuff: pale blue eyes, brown curly hair, pink kissable lips, a nudge for a nose, and her athletic body.

But her insides too: she's so sweet, kind, trustworthy, lovable . . .

I loved her, it didn't matter what her age was, and I love her. She's my mate. Forever

"Sam . . ." She sleep talks! I wonder if she can keep a conversation.

"Yeah, Lilly?" I answered her quiet call.

"Do you believe in happy endings?" I wonder what is going through her beautiful head.

"Yes, now I do. Do you?" my statement was true, I do believe in happy endings, now that I've met Lillian . . .

Her sharp, "No!" cut met out of my musings.

"Why not?" I asked, astounded that she's kept a conversation this long.

"My mom . . . she didn't get one, why should I?"

"Because your special, Lilly. And you've got me to give you one."

"Huh?"

"I'm going to do everything in my power to make you happy, okay? Everything."

"Okay." She surrenders after a while, "I'll hold that to you."

I looked at her once more, to find her eyes open.

"I thought you were sleeping . . ." I trailed off.

"So . . . you thought that you were talking to a sleeping Lilly?" she laughed, and if I could blush – a result of the vampire blood- I would have. Little did she know we've been sitting in the driveway for 30 minutes, and I've been listening to her sleep talk?

"You should go inside, I need to get home." I told her, knowing I had to get away from her, before I kissed her.

"Okay . . . I'll see you tomorrow . . ." She trailed off, and I nodded.

She opened the door, and then I did.

"How are you gonna get home?" she asked.

"Walk?" I answered with a question. Both of us getting out, and I handed her the keys.

She waited. I waited.

The moment screamed 'KISS HER'

So I did. On her cheek. Then I whispered in her ear,

"I'll wait, forever. . . later."

And then I walked away.

I heard her whisper, "Later."

What should I do?

A.N. thanks for reading

`Elizabeth Kujawski


End file.
